I’m a storyteller. I love to get lost in fantastical worlds and explore creations of my own devising. I often find the real word mundane, so it’s no surprise that I turn inward and forge ones of my own. But, the real world is the only good place to get a decent meal, and, If one cares to look, reality is actually filled with fascinating phenomena. It’s often I fall down a rabbit hole, learning anything I can about what happens to pique my interest, and of course it goes right into my fiction and fantasy.
This isn’t always as amazing as it might sound, however. More often than not, I get too caught up in the fictional that I neglect what’s happening around me or the responsibilities I need to take care of. On top of this, I get scared when other people are involved, so I avoid asking for help.
This doesn’t mean I can’t work on my writing, in fact I should work on it more to improve my abilities. But a balance of the personal and professional is desirable.
Why is family important?
It is not.
However, it is more complicated than that. Many people would say that the concept of a family is a universal constant, and looking at cultures around the world supportthis idea. In the Philippines, the setting of Patron Saint of Nothing, family and respect are highly regarded. To them, family ties are vastly important and respecting one's elders is deeply ingrained in their society. Filipinos even have unique words and greetings for greeting their elders. The thinking generally states that this is because the family you are born into is made up of the people who are closest to you. They are your blood. This extends into respect - your parents are older than you and as such have had more life experience, so therefore you should respect them. I do not deny that the older generations have more life experience, but I do not agree that they deserve a blank check on respect. This does not mean no respect whatsoever. It means everyone should be kind to one another, but if you want more respect out of someone, it is up to you to demonstrate that you’re worthy of it. Seniority does not warrant respect, actions do.
In Patron Saints of Nothing, this idea of who deserves respect is questioned throughout the story. In the story, Jay visits his cousins, of whom Tito Maning is the head. And multiple times Maning uses that position to be a brutal and cold individual, even to his wife, kids, and brother. In the book, during dinner, Maning systematically insults every one of Jay’s family, asking loaded questions such as; “ ‘She is still wasting your Tatay’s money studying “art”? ’ ” (Ribay 93) He demands respect and completely disrespects everyone around him, simply because he knows that is how it is in his culture. And this is also a great example of why I hate it. I understand that this is a fictional story, but stories come from reality. This kind of behavior is not unheard of. The Stereotype of a “Karen” comes exactly from that. Someone who thinks they should be catered to and disregards everyone else. I myself have had experiences with these kinds of people and they are the worst.
On the other hand, Patron Saints of Nothing also has a good example of people who do deserve respect. The characters of Tita Chato and Tita Ines are two older women who do not demand anything, and still care for their family. They are respectable because they do not use social status as a means of getting what they want. They are reasonable and talk with Jay as an equal. Which is something more of us should really do, discuss what we think without demanding.